Monday, April 23, 2012

Trinity Kilts Customized Tactical

I don kilts enough that kennel workers saw me wearing pants while picking up the pup and asked if I was doing anything fancy. Couple frequency of wear across all conditions with my unusually large frame and it becomes clear I need to go custom.
This kilt was intended as an all-weather daily knockaround. I wanted something in an easily cleaned material with a goodly amount of pocket space. Trinity won out due to their product's feature set.

Firstly, the holster and sheath listed in the Tactical Kilt description attach via well integrated straps on the side. If you want smooth lines to avoid drawing the eye away from a handsome plush Cthulhu sporran, removal is easy. Standard carabiners clip on well so you can carry anything from beer holsters to treat pouches or a slightly modified 8 bit Nintendo console without issue.

Another handy feature which makes side pocket use easier are the ultra deep rear pockets. Just above my thumb in the super high quality cellphone photo above, you'll see a tiny wallet slit. That and its twin are openings to caverns deep and wide enough to hold 12oz. bottles, pint glasses, or three models of handheld videogame consoles.

One key to making this all work long term lies in Lyndsey's stitching. She uses the thickest thread her reliable old beast of a machine can handle. Then each stitch is gone over several times. In order to tear out the average pleat on this beast, I'd need a heavy duty seam ripper and about an hour of free time. That's a damned good thing since the blueish blackish material used in this beast is quite thick and heavy.
I wound up sending the beast back because attempts to thread through my cartoonishly wide, double clasp, mega-belt of doom popped a belt loop. Without add ons, the beast feels heavier than my traditional wool kilt. It's fantastic in winter because sudden winds during snowstorms can't lift a damned thing even if I forget a snap or two between the second and third apron layers.

Speaking of winterization, the other side of that coat zipper above sits atop a fitted piece of
Polar Fleece. I've zipped that in place, gone outside, and needed to be told it's 15 degrees below freezing so I might want to at least upgrade to kilt hose before going for a walk.
All in all, Trinity's tactical is a well made, cleverly designed kilt. I am convinced its extreme weight causes pleat flow issues but the wife and half a sheep and wool festival tell me otherwise. As a rather large bonus, the seamstress is accommodating and passionate about her work. The only reason I'm not ordering more from them is my current one fits my needs so well.


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Sunday, April 22, 2012

Beers of the Week Pt. 6: Teddy Bears Can Detonate Tanks

This week, I hit Pioneer's annual Hophead Festival. Yankee Brew News was there so chances are you can get the lowdown on everything in journalistically integrity-filled manner. So I have decided to share my actual tasting notes to cover other territory.

Pioneer-Something Westerny Sounding California Double IPA
Not sure about this one. My understanding of things is California IPAs= hop bombs. This one is more on the malty side than expected. Masks ABV nicely. Speaking of ABV, this is the fourth time Todd has bought me one of his strongest beers then started talking about blowjobs. Invest in chastity belt. Not bad brew though. Just felt the name misleads a bit. Maybe I'm a clueless douche though. Research before posting.

Willamantic Nightcrawler Black IPA
Nice. Not always on board with the whole contradictory beer styles thing. It's a pitch black pale ale? ENIGLISH MAJOR SMASH! Well after I finish enjoying beautiful balance between hops and malt. Also nice reference to Judas Priest. Fuck that dude if it isn't. Listen to that riff ASAP.

Willamantic Prohibition
Dude apparently got old school hops and old school malts and did some beer LARPing. Wonder if he used a still, wore a fedora, and hired a man from the Midwest who ruined himself with the sauce. Be sure to not include that reference as that's one Lovecraft turd no one needs to read. Also research LARP opportunities. Got to be someone in my circle who plays Quidditch. Figure that one would pretty much require a combo of desired increase in activity and heavy drinking. Maybe there's LARP Jedi stuff? Sit and stare at objects trying to move them with your mind while breathing heavily? Note: if there is, make sure practice is nowhere near an elementary school. Tasty beer. Balanced. Remember to check duct tape on bumper cover before driving.

Dogfish Head 90 Min.
Okay. My palate must be shot. This tastes like gym socks. That guy is looking at me funny. Either he is trying to sneak glances at my shirt or I took a dump on his car last time. Okay. He just likes my shirt. Good. Pretty sure all vehicular dumping at brewery was confined to the Airstream.

Apocalypse IPA
Nice. I think. Seem to be stumbly. And flat out ignoring people then talking to their dogs. Summon the Designated Driver! SHIT! Forgot level 5 ring of summoning! This will be interest test of autocorrect. Words right = that. Words wrong = me. Holy fuck. So glad no rush to go home. Think Thunder... Thunder... Thundercats HOOOOO

Pioneer Into the Woods
This Into the Woods is much lamer than Sondheim's. Sure I can't taste it and just want to tell Tood I've had all three of his babies (note: do not say this to his wife as if Todd has told her half of what be tells everyone else she will take wrong way. Haul off. hit. Demand diviroce. Detonate Death Star pew pew pew FINISH TRILOGY WHILE STILL DRUNK! EASY IGNORE OF BAD SFX ADDITIONS! did I open parenthesizes back there? Close damn you cloooooooose. Galveston! Galvatron! Fuck you autocorrect. Never make me misspell a decepticon. I will fucking end you. YOU GOT THE TOUCH YOU GOT THE POWA! lopz dongs

Wormtown-Be ahoppy
So true to it's name I can taste the summabitch. Now I want to watch Smoneky and the bandit. Fuck yeah. She ways I need action flicks to man me up. Hahaha that fool! Showtubes will conquer her and bring her to the dark side

New England Brewing Imperial Stout Trooper
okay. Ate a meal. Drank six pints of water. Let's see if palate cleansing is adequate. Hot damn. Nice. Go to New Haven. Do not get drunk or fandom of this brewery will make you come across such that they throw Todd level of innuendo at you. Look into mace and chastity belt. Magically delicious balance. Not big on stouts these days but I'd do this.

Pretty Things X 1945
Bit sweet for me but second best LARP of the night. Srsly who the hell goes to Armsby Abbey the. Demands Bid Lite? Answer wrong question STAT! must not get sucked into mullet guy looking around at all the ladies chat noooooooo.

White Birch-Hop Session
Holy shot bill needs freshness dates! This stuff I know his beer downtown always sell as beer advocates are Anita but no way should this still have been on the shelf. Fizzy soap! Fuck!

Founders Double Trouble
Expected overhopped alcohol but honestly it was sort of beautiful. Do not go on twitter and link then to girl you know it's true video saying you feel this way about their beer. Freaking awesome.

Slumbrew flagraiser IPA
Not bad. I mean my palate is shot but I can pick up both hops and maybe malts which bodes well. Rebut. Retry. Fuck srsly this is my third round. Shot.

Blatant IPA
No nillshit just good beer well made with good ingredients. Nice in this era of quad double pink extra pale bitch sauce red ale horseshit.

Backlash Declaration
The kegs of this were pretty I wanted to love them spicy yet hoppy bookings. Haha autocorrect rocks LET'S GO VOLTRON FORCE wheee can't believe that kid is piloting black lion. Bullshit. Lance should ... Well not lance him. That would be illegal. Maybe magma pistols? In the face? In the faaaaaaaaaaaace. Wow. Ny face it is missing. Bedtime might need stepping stool though. Hope no pug poo! Woah me luck Internet not that o will be dumb enough to post this hahahaha

- Posted using The o Hammer

Friday, April 20, 2012

Cooking with Jack's Abby

I resisted running a blog for some time. Routine maintenance and my lack of an attention span just aren't compatible. Beer though... I am constantly trying new things and pausing to write about them keeps me from overdoing it, blacking out, and yelling at armed soldiers. Besides, it's not like I would ever acquire three cases of beer from a single brewer and drink nothing but beers already covered here for a month. Since Jack's Abby helped me achieve the impossible, I thought I'd share some of the resulting cooking experiences with you.

1) Jabby Jerky
I started making my own beef jerky in a dehydrator awhile back. Since my meal of choice is steak and beer, combining the two became a priority for me. The product manufacture considers usage of alcohol based marinades a warranty voiding act since it's entirely plausible fumes could ignite even on a low alcohol content beer like Jabby Brau. I've been at this for 1.5 months and have yet to start a fire but I do extra supervision.
Anyhow, I start with a couple top round steaks from the local butcher. Those are then cut into even strips, with anything particularly fatty set aside or thrown out, depending on the other cooking initiatives of the day. Fat goes rancid more quickly and I don't cure as the stuff only sits around two weeks max. I then deposit the cut meat into a thick gallon bag and squeeze out all the air. Then it's time to blend my marinate.
Jabby Brau was designed as a session lager. It's got an earthy grainy flavor beautifully offset with just a twinge of hops. On their own, two 500ml bottles impart a fairly nice grain-centric taste after 24 hours of soaking. It's not the strongest jerky around so I add garlic and pepper to make it pop just a little more.
Once everything is together, I pop it in the fridge and shake things up when passing through. After 24 hours, I load up the trays and set it on high. To cook evenly, I rotate trays every couple hours, blotting up any massive fat deposits in the process. The way I usually cut, a batch takes four hours. However, that will vary depending on your thickness preferences.

2) Smoke and Dagjerky
Smoke and Dagger is a smoked lager. It's very malty with a bit of charcoal-y smoke flavor on the end. My greatest success with this one came when I upped the concentration of beer. The brew's own flavors are awesome with red meat. However, I do eat the stuff at work so snacks that make my breath smell like I've been drinking are unwise. My favored solution is adding a touch of brown sugar. It doesn't kill the beer's flavor and imparts something quite nice, all things considered.

3) Corned Beef In Beer
I went a bit overboard on this one. In order to use up some of the bottles irritating my wife, I used an undiluted mixture of Smoke and Dagger with 1/3 Framinghammer Baltic Porter. Then I plopped the meat in, simmered for three hours, and added some random vegetable matter. This may be the brine tasting talking but I quite liked how things cane out. There was a pinch of smoke, nice malty flavors throughout, and just a touch of alcohol. As a bonus, I strained the remaining liquid and got a jerky marinate out of it. Bit weird tasting hints of cabbage at first but with a side of rice, it became a bit like stuffed cabbage leaves without all the rolling.

- Posted using The Hammer