I went to the Spring Beer Festival at Julio's Liquors in Westborough, MA today. It's an annual event where several distributors and brewers set up. In past years, I've attempted a normal blog about it where individual beers are discussed and hot gossip from brewers is shared. The results were so bad even I wouldn't post them. So this time around, I opted to just stuff random freebies in my pocket then try then check my outgoing text messages and figure out WTF I'd been up to.
The above picture suggests I tried several beers from Oskar Blue of Colorado. This doesn't shock me. People have told me Dale's Pale rocks their hairy anuses for years. However, I keep helping more local micros out and getting several months' worth of product instead of purchasing brews. My guess is the following text relates to these beers:
"OM NOM NOM OLD CHUB GIFTS ME CHUBS! LOLZLZLZL OOOH DEVIANT DALE HAS BIG CAN! I LIKE CAN! OOOOOH oh shit. Is that the guy I peed on last year?"
Then apparently the crap Chinese restaurant across the way, Mandarin, gave me a coupon. I ate there after a previous fest. Maybe they changed chefs with locations but even drunk I found the food mediocre at best and some of it tasted worse than bile.
Why there's a Narraganset bumper sticker in my pocket is beyond me. Yes, their cheap lager is the best buy at several local clubs. However, I avoid their stuff as I don't want to have a taste for it. Nothing against em but the less I want a dehydrator at a sweat factory, the better. My guess is I tried the summer but my pallet was presumably so shot I wouldn't taste anything weaker than rubbing alcohol.
Then I apparently stumbled across the way to see Jack's Abby and Mystic. I dimly recall chatting with those dudes as I stepped to the side to allow their lines to continue and got stuck for a good twenty minutes against the wall.It was a nice wall and my ruined pallet dug it some Powderhouse Wheat Wine from Mystic and Cask Framinghammer from Jack's. This is judging by the following email sent to me from my phone:
"POWDERHOUSE IS AWESOME! THAT iueerjojljwfoj THINKS I Am starinG AT HER CHEST!!!!!! ahahahahahhahaha AWESOME! HonESTLy I was stairng isjat hher peepeppper! It lokke3d tlike those ferom te talberque fbrowncoats! whatevfvvvvarrr yum casky framinghammmemmmmmmmmmmmmer! shir fuckdk tou and ioyuyr damned long ass wrlimits! eat itk verixxon!
Also I guess Verizon limited my texts and sucked.
The next message reads
"FUCK BACKLASH FOR NOT BEING HERE! Notch ujji is! Theey twweeeeet alalot toooo! I fo pee then drinks thar bears! I TRY! IT OOD!!!! TRY WHEN SNOT RUINED LWOMAN"
So apparently Backlash no showed the event, thus meanining I need to buy Groundswell to try which judging by my twitter feed, isn't happening as I now blame Helder for everything wrong in my life. The indication is I liked Notch enough to add them to my list of things to try when not ruined by IPAs.
"DAMNED WEIRD AS SOLSTICE SOFA! FUKK BEER CREAM SODA! BEAR REPUVIC SHIRT! NOT ANEM OF BREWERY!!!! HAD RASCAL!!!! NOT TODD!!! NO TRUST!!! NO BELIEF!!!"
Okay so apparently someone had a beer with Solstice in the name which tasted like cream soda. When I want soda, I drink soda. When I want beer, I drink beer. When the two cross, it apparently makes me so angry I forget to blame Backlash.
Then it looks like I got dinner and a massage in Westborough. I am hoping I wasn't stupid enough to do the latter drunk. So not a bad day. Have a list of maybe five beers to try sober some of which are from Notch who I didn't know going in. So yay for me. Now I need to try and tell that person I texted demanding ass juice that I meant orange juice. Later, Internet.
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