Sunday, January 20, 2013

. . . and then some Dreamcast Happened Vol 2: Wrath of Khan

Centipede
This game helps explain why kids hate us old folks. Our nostalgia created a perceived market for games like this. The included classic mode is nice to have for when our 2600 fails. At least that one has the decency to STFU and leave plot development to the kiddies. The enhanced though... it starts off trying to make Centipede sound like Tremors. Then in come the human character designs and it's Seuss? Gameplay, it's basically the original from a top down perspective with a few powerups thrown in. Part of me wants to see if maybe hackers have released a version where all FMV is replaced with Two Girls One Cup because that would feel a bit less assault-ish than what they did to one of the classics of my youth while trying to trick a newer generation into feeling similarly. 

Chaos Field
Top-down shooter. Always sucked at it and never made it past the first boss, which tells you how long I last as it starts you on top of said boss. Oops. Looks nice though! 

Crazy Taxi
Sega rocked the arcades and this game shows you why. It's fun, easy to play, and stylish. I wore the damn thing out (well okay it was more leaving the thing lying around without a case for a few years) and still come back to it for a round once in awhile.

Cool Herders
A nice bonus of the Dreamcast is it's relatively easy to develop for so there's some decent homebrew software out there. In this one, some guy swipes the world's sheep to piss off Zeus and you go around collecting them. Might sound ridiculous on the surface but that's the same dude who commanded a couple of scrawny dudes to "wise fwom their gwaves," 'roid up, and turn into electrified twinky animals. Still, it's a nicely balanced game that doesn't require a master's in gaming to play. Totally worth grabbing if you can find it.

Daytona USA
You know how I said Sega was amazing in the arcades? The Daytona series absolutely proves my point. The only thing more dull than NASCAR in my eyes are the legions of driving games mimicking it. Maybe it's the "DAYTONAAAAAA IT'S ROLLING" song (sadly have yet to find that on here) echoing in my brain alongside the patterns of a hundred flickering screens but I really enjoy tossing this game in once in awhile, playing a couple laps, then forgetting it exists until next year. 

Demolition Racer
This game may technically be crap. However, I like it when they reward my inability to drive like a sane person in games. I mean you can cross the line 7th and still win due to that massive accident caused when you leaned over to pet a pug instead of keeping two hands on the controller. Not amazing from a technical standpoint but fun to play which is what really matters in the end. 

Dino Crisis
Part of me wonders if the creators of Resident Evil heard Weird Al's parody of "Macarthur Park" and said "hmm you know Jurassic Park IS scary in the dark" and called it a concept for a new survival horror series. Burnt myself out on the whole genre by the end of Nemesis and still haven't made it back in but hey... PRETTY 128 BIT DINOS YAY!

Next week will bring some epic fails, low-fi console pr0n, an argument for refusing to cover sports games, and one for giving at least action-RPGs on the console a try. 

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