Sunday, January 20, 2013

. . . and Then Some Dreamcast Happened Vol 3: Search For Spock

This appears to be some sort of interactive erotic horror novel thing. An interesting curiosity but I'm not entirely sure I'd read it in book form, never mind when I need to press a button and select locations to keep things going. Nice to have one of these translated if only so I have some clue what in the hell geeks are talking about at our monthly gatherings.

Draconus Cult of the Wyrm
So there I am, a big burly knight chock full of fairly anachronistic tough guy cliches strolling through the woods when WHAM! George Takei fairy lord and friend to all guides me to the location of some ancient treasure. Some hacking and slashing took place. Found it a bit awkward as I seem  to in a polygon environment. Adjusted fairly quickly and was soon beating up pigs with aplomb. Not a badly made bit of medieval fantasy action-hack n slash type thing. Could do with some better lighting though. Often seems like every passageway in a remotely shadowed area is a secret.

Dragon Riders
Well, they worked with the author of the fantasy series. It shows. There's some good storytelling happening here. What isn't so grand, however, are the controls and camera. I almost put the controller through the screen during the tutorial because I would wander off screen, lose my character behind an object, or even wander along the rim of something then have a collision detection problem and warp a bit off course. It'd be great to get lost in this game and blow hours but I find my tolerance for the awkwardness is about 30 minutes at a time and even then that's solely because I really like the story.

Championship Pro-Surfer
I try really hard not to stereotype. Then a game about surfing tells me to catch some waves with Trevor and other smugly named blondes. Part of the reason I won't bill this as a videogame review blog is that would obligate me to learn enough about the genre to do a comparison. This one turned me off enough that I would prefer not to look into things enough to establish that this isn't a fluke and there actually is a genre it belongs to. Wiggle stick. Fall. Glide towards wave. Wiggle stick. Launch board at what appear to be mines. Fall asleep on sofa. Wake up to the name "Trevor." Curse the day the publisher's CEO was born. Brah.

ECW Hardcore Revolution and Anarchy Rulz
I'm all for not lumping games together, even if they're part of a franchise with inherent similarities. However, I can't help but think that would involve more effort than Acclaim games put into development on these games. Hardcore . . . came out and was basically a new set of polygonal blobs dropped into a WWF game. This pissed fans off so they made Anarchy Rulz more "true" by apparently adding a couple match types and marginally improving the character models. Part of me wonders if the WWF looked to these games and said "heeey these guys are right!  ECW is us! Let's just use the name and release more of the same shit!"

E. G. G. (Elemental Gimmick Gear)
This game struck me as a bit out of place back in the day. It was a Link to the Past styled adventure that looked like it began development back in the Sega Saturn days. My brother wrote it off due to that but I spent a week or so doing  nothing but playing it. Still have very fond  memories which a recent playtest brought flooding back. Just a really well done title all around. Find myself thinking of it every time there's a "new, primitive society coping with ruins of an ancient, more advanced one" plotline.

Evil Dead: Hail to the King
I really enjoyed the interactive cheesy zombie movie aspect of Resident Evil. So when I heard that my  favorite reaction/homage to cheese-tastic horror, Evil Dead, was being made into a similar style game, I did a happy little dance. OMG! SURVIVAL HORROR! OMG OMG OMG CONTINUATION OF THE STORY! OMG OMG OMG OMG NEW VOICEOVERS FROM BRUCE CAMPBELL! O. M. . . shit. In order to witness the last two, I need to actually play this turkey? I am absolutely fucked. Just spent five minutes hopping around spastic trying to attack the first deadite with a chainsaw. Why the hell do I keep jumping backwards? Is the stick really that oversensitive? Going to need a Codebreaker just to survive through to the second enemy. This blows. I hope that someday it's feasible to stream video over  the Internet so I can catch all the relevant bits without having to schlep through this inept excuse for a game. Ah memories. Now of course I'm older, wiser, and a much better gamer. It was actually somehow a worse experience. Worth playing if only to make one appreciate well... pretty much any other game really.

Fighting Force 2
 In demos showing how freaking awesome this game is to play, the computer gets beaten up because it takes too long to turn around and face an opponent. That honestly was a fairly accurate portrayal of the gameplay. Start swinging at an enemy. Have him sidestep. Get half your lifebar eaten before you manage to turn around. Repeat until death. That combined with the GRRR WE SO SERIOUS plotline/dialogue make this game an utter and complete chore to play. If you have a craving for  the genre, dig up Dynamite Cop. It was an arcade port made by Sega and knew how to have some serious fun with adapting the beat-em-up genre to 3D.

Oddly enough, the 4th entry will include a game  that features whales. There shall also be frogs, fighting, men in tight tights, and a sprite doing an impression of the dude who played Super Shredder in TMNT II: Secret of the Ooze.

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